I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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