i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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