I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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