My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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