Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
