every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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