I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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