I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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