i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
