i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
