As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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