WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
