she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Semen is not good for contacts.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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