you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
