I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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