ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
