I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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