btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
