Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
