Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
this just has baby written all over it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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