yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My vagina is officially offended.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
