Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My balls are so social today.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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