Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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