Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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