I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
