What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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