We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
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Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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