I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
