can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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