And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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