She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
