its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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