you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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