imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
