At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
