summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
third nipple confirmed
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
