Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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