UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
