Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
