hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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