'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
