meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
