On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
