Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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