whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
