I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize