I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
