No, you can still breathe under the balls.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
