Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
