i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
