I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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