Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
