i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet