But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
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he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
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I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.