I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?