No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag