Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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