dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
