i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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