Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
