Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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