just come out here and I will go home with you...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize