Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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