If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
