I hope mine doesn't look like that
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
