some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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