The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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