Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
