I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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