Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
