I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
